Ten Character Arcs More Disappointing Than [insert GOT character name here]

my thesis is due in like 48 hours and I've never seen GOT

  • Gonzo from the Muppet Show (WHEN DOES HE GET HITCHED TO ROBERTA AND WHY IS HIS ALIEN FAMILY RELEVANT WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE CHICKEN FETISH NOT HIS ORIGIN STORY)

  • Michael Dawson on LOST (excuse me why doesn’t he come back, that was cruel and unusual, I’m still hurt.)

  • Sun on Sens8 (please please why can we not get some quality asexual representation on LITERALLY THE QUEEREST SHOW ON TV OF ALL TIME?)

  • Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber on Veggie Tales (queer baiting, I tell you good sirs, queer baiting.)

  • Tina on the L Word (hello what the fuck with her going back to men? The writers did her dirty.)

  • Ivanka Trump (are men writing her script? Where is the white feminist rage we were promised?)

  • My father (like, if you’re going to be a conditionally loving and occasionally cruel narcissist, can’t you at least cuss sometimes? Who wrote your script, the writers from Fireproof?)

  • The Virgin Mary (again, SMELLS LIKE A MAN WROTE HER SCRIPT, like… wow lady you are so excited to be raped by God. I’ve read the Greek myths. That’s not how this story goes.)

  • Bernard Sanders (I thought you were going to have actual writers in your writers’ room this time, but instead you just stole the competition’s scripts from last season and rearranged some of the letters, wtf dude.)

  • Raphael from Jane the Virgin (YOU FUCKING KICKED HER OUT DUDE WHEN SHE WAS CHOOSING YOU GODDAMMIT SHE’S NOT YOUR MOBSTER MOTHER GET SOME PERSPECTIVE.)